Uncomfortable eating

Ok. So this post is going to be painful. Some of you might be a little shocked. Others will understand, although not all of you will be happy to talk about it.

I have an addiction to food. There. I’ve said it.

For those of you who think I may be overstating the problem, let me give you a slightly scary insight…

In one afternoon in 2012, during a particularly rough time (after finding out I was being made redundant) I ate the following:

  • a whole pack of breaded chicken mini fillets
  • a heaped plate full of tuna pasta bake covered in melted cheese
  • half a loaf of tiger bread with butter on
  • 2 packets of crisps
  • a whole tub of Haagen Daaz Cookies and Cream ice cream
  • some Haribo sweets

And that was just lunch.

Sadly, this isn’t a joke. I had a serious problem with food. I still do. But it’s different now. I could still massively over eat on any given day if I wanted to. But I choose not to.

I choose life. I choose my husband. I choose my health and our future. I choose to follow Slimming World and indulge in a measured amount of treats so that I don’t ever fall back into the deep, dark pit I was once in.

But sometimes it is really, really hard.

They call it ‘comfort eating’ but in reality, I don’t think overeating has ever given me much comfort. In contrast, the sheer amount of support and love visible on our Slimming World Crookes Facebook page this week has been amazing.

I had a really busy couple of days at the end of this week. I didn’t finish work until 7.30pm on Friday and was tired and lacking enthusiasm. This would previously have been a take-away day – indulging in late night kebab and chips or huge portions of Chinese food. It was so tempting to fall back into old habits.

But within five minutes of starting to catch up on the day’s posts in our Facebook group, I had changed my mind.

The lovely people in my group are full of great advice and support. Whether it’s suggestions for low Syn treats or new recipes to try. But weirdly, sometimes the most comforting, reassuring thing when you’re struggling is just to know you’re not alone.

What struck me reading the posts that day was the difference between me now and me then. I have such a different outlook on life now. Having previously suffered with depression and with body image issues for most of my life, it’s comforting to feel like that’s behind me.

After reading three separate stories from people who were finding it really tough to be on plan that day, I realised I was just being lazy! Needless to say I cooked a healthy tea after all.

Following Slimming World isn’t always easy. But it’s a lot more comfortable than the alternative.

 

(Photo from January 2007 – one of my least favourite pictures of myself from a very vulnerable time. But since I’m bearing my soul in words, I figured it was appropriate)

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Moonflowers says:

    It’s great that you can be so honest & share this Leia. It’s also encouraging to know that other people have difficult times too & that we’re not alone. And you’re right, our FB group is a great place & judgement free x

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  2. Louise Luck says:

    I love your honesty! I used to think if no one saw what I ate it didn’t count. I could eat a massive share bag of kettle chips in one go on a Friday after work. Like you say, I didn’t feel any better afterwards. Slimming world is so freeing. Thanks For inspiring me to go xx

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  3. Very similar to posts that I could have written, and so brave of you to put it all out there. Have you ever read about Binge Eating Disorder? It was like a revelation to me when I discovered it – as though suddenly, I wasn’t alone in this, wasn’t so abnormal. Made me feel better to know there was a reason somehow. Anyway – have written about it over on my blog if you want to have a look. Good luck to you with SW – I love the balance it encourages, which is so important to eaters like you and me. Will be following along x

    Like

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