Self destruct

Harrumph.

Over the last few weeks… no… in fact make that months… my weight loss has gone up and down more times than a roller coaster.

I have gained and lost the same few pounds over and over again.

I don’t know why I have lost my focus, or why I am suddenly finding so hard what seemed so simple when I started. I don’t know why I have lost all my willpower and resistance against temptation.

I have tried to use the tools that Slimming World provide. I have re-written my ‘For and Against’ list. I have tried (and failed) to fill in food diaries. I have reminded myself of my journey by looking at my ‘before’ and ‘so far’ photos. I have tried all sorts of ways of trying to manage my meals and Syns to stop myself getting hungry or being tempted, including eating vast quantities of pasta to fill myself up, or eating chocolate in the middle of the day rather than saving my Syns for the evening.

Nothing seems to be working!

Even though I do still very much want to lose weight, I also just want to eat the bread and the cake and the ice cream and… well, you get the idea.

It’s weird. My health problems have actually been slightly better lately. I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere with all these different doctors and tests. And yet I feel exhausted.

Maybe I just need a holiday. Maybe it’s because work is busy and life is stressful and maybe I just can’t focus on Slimming World when my brain is so hard to process everything else going on. I don’t know.

Or maybe, yet again, I have gone into self-sabotage mode. But Im not really sure why that happens either. As Charlie Brown comments…

Charlie-Brown-self-defeat

So, yeah, humph.

All I know is that, even though i’m really struggling, I’m not ready to give up just yet.

But if anyone has any tips, I’d definitely love to hear them!

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One Comment Add yours

  1. downmyfront says:

    No tips to offer, just some reassurance you are not alone. I too am struggling and whenever I gain some of the weight back I hate myself for being weak willed. I’m an emotional eater and things are crappy at work right now. I’m trying to be positive and reading about other people’s journeys helps. Keep at it, one day at a time and don’t beat yourself up. I’m saying this to myself and to you xxx

    Like

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